Please

Imagine this.
Its morning. Sunlight has begun creeping up from behind the curtains and the room is lit with orange light.

You open your eyes, and manage to stand up. You scratch your bum, mess up your hair, and walk to a mirror. You have half a mind to jump back into the bed and get under that blanket. More than half a mind, infact.
But you resist.

Its probably late already. You grab your phone to look at the time. "Should be around 7:30", you tell yourself as you unlock your phone.
Your pupils dilate. Your pulse races. Its 8, and you're late.

You're still recovering from the side effects of the minor stroke you had, when you realize that your clothes aren't even ironed yet. Minor stroke turns into major stroke. You're struggling to cope with the situation, when suddenly, out of nowhere, out of the freaking blue, a bright beam of light jumps onto you and before you finish saying "what the..", you find yourself standing on an odd looking landscape.

And just like that, you've been transported to this weird place you didn't know existed. (I know this is a stretch, but lets continue imagining, shall we?)

So. That is how you reached this 'other world', or an 'alternate universe', or..or...well...you get the idea.

You quickly start analyzing your surroundings and figure out that you're standing on, what looks like, a hill top and you see a big city at the foothills. All you see from your vantage point are trees, green grass, lots of pretty houses, some with some really pretty chimneys (with smoke twirling out from them), and you see cars, trains, hawker stands, and people (nope, no aliens).

You see people walking, running, talking to one another.

So. Well. You're not going to just stand there forever now, are you?

You walk down, obviously.

You're tired, disoriented, confused, and like all tired/disoriented/confused people, you crave for coffee.

You just begin wondering if you'd get coffee in this place, and before you finish imagining the worst, you see this board that says "Starbucks".

You look at the skies and give the author of this story a resigned look that seems to say "Seriously? Starbucks? Even here?", shake your head in disbelief, and walk into Starbucks.

There's a big queue as usual. You start wondering why people would queue up for overpriced coffee at this place. Coffee should be served like it is meant to be served, you tell yourself. It should be served in a tumbler, with some froth at the top, brewed with milk...Hmmm..Filter coffee..

You snap out. You're still in that same queue.

You ask for a double shot Macchiato (as usual, you say 'Maa ki auto' while ordering, and suppress a giggle).

As you sit there, smelling that intense, delicious, dark, magical drink, you cant help but wonder where life's taking you. You begin contemplating the real meaning of life, and just as you see this chain of thought getting to a logical end, just as you're about to hit that Eureka moment... someone holds you by your hair and drags you into a big hall full of serious looking people.

They're all looking at you, and at their watches alternatively. Before you manage to get out of your daze, someone plunks a bucket full of cold, chilled water at you. Right on your head.

Another guy takes out a gun and just as you duck under the table, starts shooting yucky paint balls.

The guy next to you, kicks you on your behind, and the one ahead, sits on you and starts laughing.

Another guy starts blurting out words you don't understand, and keeps asking you to do things. Strange weird things involving words you don't understand. They sound like they mean everything and nothing at the same time.

You feel an incredible urge to grab the pen and paper put in front of you and write down stuff, but the words don't mean anything, so what would you write anyway? It all sounds important, and you feel like you'll be blamed for not writing this down. You start empathizing with Ganesha - the poor guy had to write the entire Mahabharatha as Vyaasa read it out at without a single break. Your thoughts move on from Mahabharatha to TV serials to Jungle Book to Amma's morning breakfast, when suddenly, your stomach starts to rumble, and you snap out.

You're hungry. And thirsty. You realize you haven't had a glass of water since morning. Your mouth is parched, as parched as Gujarat. You also figure out that you need to use the men's room. You wonder why your body insists on letting water out when there really isn't a single drop of water inside it. You wonder why your body cannot just recycle all that water back. You start cursing evolution, and suddenly start thinking about Dinosaurs, and just when you start humming Jurassic park's theme in your mind, some one plunks a pail of cold water at you. Again.

That's it, you think. You've had enough of this nonsense. You tell yourself that you have got to get out of this place.You tell yourself that you're going to get up and shout loudly and throw this chair onto that old guy who plonked that cold water at you. You're going to kick that guy into the well like that bearded half naked guy did in that movie whose name you don't remember. It was a good movie though. What was its name, you wonder. Your stomach rumbles. You snap out and snap in to anger mode.

You're done. This is it. They're all dead, you say. And just as you're about to get up, and hurl your chair at them, people start walking out of the room.

An old guy gives you a smile as he walks out as if to say you've done well.

You walk out of the room, dazed, groggy, tired...your head bursting with confusion.

How does that feel?

That, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly how I feel after a morning meeting.

So please, for goodness sake, for humanity's sake, no meetings at 8:30. What are we? Animals?